Just as sunshine brightens a day, lifts a mood and makes you smile, that was our dad, Ray Stella. His kind heart, caring spirit, infectious smile and belly laugh brought joy to those around him. We miss him already yet take comfort knowing that he is reunited with Mom in Heaven. As “Stella” means “Star,” he will continue to be our beacon of light from above as we navigate this life going forward.
Dad loved without condition. Those closest to him knew this firsthand. It made him happy that he could always get us to smile, make us laugh at his funny (sometimes colorful) jokes, cheer us up when we were feeling down and help us when we needed it. He never said “no” or “I can’t.” He was as dependable as the sun coming up each day. He was our biggest fan and cheerleader.
Nothing made Dad prouder than his children, grandchildren and his great-grandson Jackson, who we’re grateful Dad had a chance to meet. As his customers (also known as friends) can attest, he liked to share family stories, especially those from our formative years. While we’re sure those stories were amusing, we kindly ask that you embrace your “inner goldfish” and forget any embarrassing tales out there about our quirks and adventures!
As for his grandchildren, they lit up Dad’s world. He enjoyed playing with them, teasing them, attending their sporting events and activities, spending time together at the lake house, and simply hearing about their lives. He shared with them his love of baseball, fishing and cars. He gave advice, too, which sometimes made them squirm, but they listened and wisely took his counsel to heart. Matthew, Michael, Nicholas, Ryan, Lauren, Katie, Lilly, Olivia and Jackson – Poppy will always be looking over you, as will Grammy.
Dad believed in doing what was right, helping those in need, being kind and making others feel special. He remembered faces, names and stories. He made connections with everyone who walked into York Barber Shop. For more almost 60 years, he was an Elmhurst staple. Alongside his long-time friend and fellow barber, Elio, generations of families in the Elmhurst community received first and last haircuts, and numerous trims in between. Haircuts were given in hospitals and nursing homes “after hours” and so many over the years were free of charge.
Dad loved children, and he had a gentle Midas touch when it came to wiggly bottoms in the barber chair. Word spread, and parents traveled out of their way to see Ray the Barber. He was especially wonderful with children with special needs, with whom he made good friends. And of course, there was always bubble gum and lollipops that followed a haircut – what better reward for sitting still and getting to look your best?!
But more than haircuts happened at York Barber Shop. Friendships were made, laughs were shared, and advice flowed freely around the small shop. Money was withdrawn from the cash register for those in need. Our simple hand-me-downs were shared with those facing hardship. Elio played his guitar and shared his gifted voice as well as his culinary talents. Toasts were given to celebrate marriages and births, and for those who passed away. Today, Dad and Elio are reunited and recalling these special memories, of that, we’re very sure.
Rather than “knowing a guy,” Dad was “the guy.” He introduced people who he thought could help each other out, routinely made unofficial sales for his customers, shared his connections with those looking for jobs and recommended doctors who frequented his shop and impressed him. Dad knew so many people, we couldn’t go anywhere as a family without Dad running into someone he knew. “Here we go again” was a common refrain as we waited (sometimes rather impatiently!) for Dad to be polite and have a conversation. We often joked he should run for the mayor of Elmhurst!
When Mom passed, we knew Dad needed a companion, and Buddy entered our lives. We believe that our angel in Heaven led Buddy to Dad. A Llasa Apso mix, Buddy is a happy, fun- loving, somewhat needy little guy that immediately attached himself to Dad, and vice versa. He loved hanging out at the barber shop, going for walks, sitting on Dad’s lap and sleeping in his bed. They were a match made in Heaven! Lilly and Olivia are now taking good care of Buddy for their Poppy.
When Dad’s health began to decline, caregiving angels joined us and enabled Dad to stay at home. It all started with Carmen – our very special angel – who came to us by the grace of God, loved Dad immensely and was at his side in his last days. She brought to us a team of caregivers, who graciously helped us along this challenging journey. She is blessing for whom we will forever be grateful.
A special thank you to Prince, whose care and connections helped us to keep Dad at home when we thought it was no longer an option; to Jen, who remained a caring friend to Dad and our family; and to Don and Alex, who took great care of Dad through his last moments. And thank you to Uncle Don, who called Dad every day and whose visits included Portillo’s beef sandwiches and pastries, which Dad always enjoyed!
While Dad’s sports heroes included Mickey Mantle, Ted Williams and Stan Musial, he was our hero, and he will be missed dearly. Disease may have robbed much from him, but it never claimed his heart. The smiles, kisses, I love you’s and thank you’s remained gifts until the end. The “thank you” he whispered shortly before he passed was for everyone who cared for, checked on, asked about, prayed for and loved him.
Even through this unimaginable loss, we feel unbelievably blessed and incredibly grateful for the love and support of so many these past few years. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. We simply ask that you remember Dad, consider paying forward his kindness, and keep him in your prayers – where of course, you’ll find the letters “Ray.” He will surely be shining down on us forever and always.
Happy Father’s Day, Dad. We love you so very much.
Love, Regina, Sherri and Dan
Visitation Friday, June 16, 2023, 2:00 until 7:00 p.m., at Gibbons Funeral Home 134 S. York Road (½ mile North of St. Charles Road), Elmhurst. Friends and family will meet for a Mass of Christian Burial, Saturday, June 17, 2023, beginning at 10:00 a.m., at Visitation Catholic Church, 779 South York Road. In lieu of flowers, please consider a donation to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, 501 St. Jude Place, Memphis, TN 38105 or the Second City Canine Rescue, 570 N. Smith St., Palatine, IL 60067. For funeral information, please call 630-832-0018 or www.gibbonsfuneralhome.com